Each of my boys offers me clues about what they need from me. Sometimes clues come in the form of a knock-me-down bear hug (usually from my 3-year-old), a smile from across the room, or several enthusiastic sentences about Minecraft and how to use slime block or Redstone. Sometimes clues come through facts about poisonous snakes, which as my 11-year-old will tell you, are technically venomous, not poisonous, unless you eat them. Sometimes clues come through questions about God, the baby we never met, space travel, or if brownies actually need to cool before we can eat them.
My boys have so many questions they want to ask me. So many thoughts to share. They want to know that I care about what they care about. They want to know that I am paying attention. My three-year-old’s clues are loud and physical and frequent—unmistakable most of the time. My older boys want my eyes on them and my ears open to their thoughts, feelings, and needs. My 8-year-old recently told me, “I like it when we have long sentences (conversations) like this.” I think what he meant was, he likes it when I make time to listen to whatever is on his mind. These conversations often happen after 8:00 PM when my youngest is in bed and my brain feels like overcooked oatmeal, but this is when he needs to talk.
I wish I could say I always listen and respond to my boys with loving curiosity. I don’t. Sometimes I want to pop my earbuds in and tune them out or just be alone with my own thoughts. Other times I misinterpret their needs or miss them altogether. But thankfully my boys, like most kids, are persistent and when I miss something, they keep trying.
I don’t know how my boys will remember me when they’re older, but I hope they remember me as a mom who listened and loved them the best she could. And I hope they never doubt how much I treasure the closeness we have.
What do your kids/kid seem to need most from you in this season?
What do you need in order to meet their needs?
I am asking myself the same questions.
Love,
Ashley
Love this, Ash. Seconding what Becky said—You are such an intentional mom.♥️ Thank you for these thoughtful questions!
Goodness, it feels like my kids need ALLLLL my attention these days and it feels so exhausting… I can relate to wanting to just pop in some ear buds and hear my own thoughts for a bit! But this was a great reminder that a little intentionality goes a long way ❤️