My Best Life

a poem/reflection + some thoughts on beginning a new year

Photo by Valerie Blanchett on Unsplash

My Best Life

I was given another 365 days
about 6,000 waking hours 
to live my best life with 
my best people
to say
 
I love you
It won’t be like this forever
Who wants to bake something
It’s okay to cry
Let’s go outside
 
And also
 
I’ll be there in a minute
Please wait one more minute
It’ll be ready in a minute
I still need a minute
Yes, I’ll wait for you
 
I was given 365 days to
pray for what I lack
start another book
cry over what was lost
dream a different dream
 
I was given 360,000 minutes to
listen to the leaves rustle in the wind
breathe in the smell of the earth
notice the shape of the clouds
bask in the warmth of the sun
 
Grind coffee beans and wait
turn socks and pants right-side-out
pile pancakes onto plates
push Legos into a pile
gather all the bedtime stuffies
  
I was given 365 days to 
respond to old text messages
discover a new perspective
find overdue library books
admire new Lego creations

Read, write, and talk to God
listen to the voices around me
say, I'm sorry and, I was wrong 
simmer a fresh pot of soup 
weep with gratitude

I was given this gift of time
with the people I love 
more than words can describe
and yet how many minutes
did I wish away
 
Hard ones for easy ones
sickness for health
anxiety for peace
ignorance for wisdom
the monotonous for the exciting
 
Often it was the dawn
the change in seasons or 
my children reminding me 
how quickly these minutes pass
and no amount of wishing will change 
 
My allotment of time
with the people I love 
more than words can describe
because how does that saying go
We were together, that’s what I remember most.*

///

*Paraphrased from Walt Whitman’s famous line: “We were together. I forget the rest.”

*This poem was first published on the Coffee + Crumbs Substack and IG pages. I cannot recommend Coffee + Crumbs enough for mothers. And, if you are a mother writer, Exhale is a place you belong. You can use the code: EXHALEBFF to get a discount on your first month. I am not paid to promote the C+C website or online community.

This New Year snuck up on me, as it usually does, but I am determined to find some time to sit and reflect and dream about the year ahead.

Last year, I shared this poem and I wrote this reflection and poem the year before. Both still feel relevant to me.

In recent years, I chose a word for the year that felt fitting for the season I was in. Last year I did not choose one, but the word “heal” came to mind over and over as I began to acknowledge some parts of my story I had become skilled at suppressing, avoiding, or minimizing. This year, the word “heal” still resonates, but I have also been meditating on Hebrews 13:21:

May he equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to him. All glory to him forever and ever! Amen.

This verse feels like the best kind of prayer for a new day or a New Year, don’t you think?

I have some new poems to share this month and I am slowly working on a few pieces of writing for children. I’ll keep you posted on those when it makes sense.

Thank you for being here!

Love,